On top of accepting that our country is falling apart and that now we don’t even have a president suitable to hold it together, I’m struggling with a deeper and more personal situation that I cannot accept and am doing everything in my OCD magical thinking powers to prevent the outcome that I fear is inevitable. This outcome is completely decided by the mind of another, and no matter the words I share, the care I make known to have, and the compulsions I give into to try to prevent the “jinxing” of the situation, nothing will bring down my overwhelming anxiety and panic deep in my chest.
After the past week in the United States and and seeing the hypocrisy that occurs in our government, I’ve had to try to accept an outcome that I cannot change which is near impossible when you suffer from OCD.
I will not give up on at least trying to help this person’s situation, but I can feel the exhaustion wearing on my soul, my mind, and my body. To just accept this “thing I cannot change” is not quite as easy as accepting a change in president, as this one is part of my private world. When its close to home, and you have OCD, it puts accepting the things that we cannot change on a whole other level. Not only do we feel that we have the power to change it, we feel we “must” change it, control the outcome, and save the day.
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